The Class of '88

I'm back from a very restful vacation; a vacation in which I gained FIVE FUCKING POUNDS, but I also drank enough Shiner Bock to quench the thirst of a small third-world nation, so I guess I deserve it.

I never fully recapped my Oklahoma-Class-of-'88-reminisce-fest. Sees-toh and I packed in visits with childhood friends and college friends; we even drove out to our old homestead to see the improvements the new owners made to our old abode. It was a weekend crammed full of memories and fun with a dash of wistfulness thrown in for good measure. And it just about kicked our sorry asses, because we were t-i-r-e-d when we left OKC.

In between all of that nuttiness we squeezed in two Class of '88 reunion events (which is nice, considering the reunion was the catalyst for the entire trip!) Sees-toh and I primped and preened, tsk-tsked at the size of our hineys, fluffed our hair and spritzed on perfume, then zipped downtown to the Friday night event. I felt a twinge of nervousness as we arrived, although it had nothing to do with seeing old high school friends/enemies/sweethearts and everything to do with the rudely inquisitive eyes of restaurant patrons, which followed us from the moment we entered the place until we escaped around a corner at the back of the establishment.

"Krikey! What's up? Is my dress tucked into my thong? Do I have a booger hanging out of my damn nose?" I hissed to Sees-toh.

Either we looked like hookers (likely) or we looked stunningly fabulous (cough!) because all them folks chowin' down on spicy foods wuz starin' at us like we wuz from Mars. Or maybe New York. Difficult to say.

We burst into the back room and began gabbing away. It was SO good so reconnect with old friends. I blogged last year about Mitzi (BITZ!) and MD. I posted this picture of us (which, oddly enough, is a very popular download in the Middle East. Best I can figure is that we're being used for target practice by some over-zealous terrorists.)

We had a creative brainstorm (or maybe it was one drink too many) and decided to re-create the photo. I give you "Twenty Years Later . . . "

Sigh. WE ROCK.

Here is a snapshot of some of the graduates . . .

Out of this group, the majority of us decided it would be a shame to end the evening too quickly. After we wrapped up dinner, we headed over to some club in Bricktown. I still don't know the name of the place, but I spent about 5 hours in it - five sweaty, fun, foot-blister-inducing hours of glee! The front entrance of the club dumped out into an 80's themed dance floor. OMIGOD! BITZ! and I were in heaven! We started to gyrate our sexy selves to the golden tunes of Hair Bands, and then all of The Guys (the original group of cool guys in high school who controlled the school, charmed the pants off the lady teachers - um, not literally? - and used to drive us mad back in the day, to the point where we considered either murdering them or ripping their clothes off in a passion.) (OK. That was a twee bit of a fib. But whatever.) Aaaaaaaanyway, The Guys decided it would be massively cool to head back to the second part of the club, which was a hip hop area.

Which makes perfect sense.

You know - because we were having an 80s Reunion and everything, we're old and not hip, and we're all white. So let's go listen to some supah heavy hip-hop, yo? And that's what we did for five sweaty, fun, foot-blister-inducing hours of glee!

Either I had a sign taped to my ass that read "Attack me with your pelvis, please?" or my bad-ass-38-year-old dimply buttocks are awesome to behold, because a non-stop line of dudes attempted to give me crabs, all night long.

Maybe dudes in OKC are just pervs.

We danced and laughed and drank and laughed and danced some more, with Sees-toh (the club virgin - that's right - first time at a club, ANY club) protected in the middle of our group, terrified and clutching her Sex on the Beach drink to her chest, an innocent smile plastered on her face. The Guys were concerned about her and kept checking in to ascertain her level o'fun. She still swears to me she had a good time, but I honestly thought some of the hip hop lyrics were going to give her a coronary and make me have to go all Captain Hero on her and save her from certain death with my stellar lifesaving skills.

We fi-na-lly made it back up to the 80s dance floor in time for BITZ! and me to groove to a lil' Def Leppard before they kicked us out of the place at 2AM. Our fast-dwindling group tumbled into the IHOP for pancakes and assorted artery-clogging dishes. By 3AM I was fading fast, so Sees-toh and I crawled out to the car and headed back to the hotel.

Where my parents were sleeping.

And Sees-toh was terrified we were going to be in trouble.

"WTF? You're forty years old, Sees-toh! Do you honestly think Mom and Daddy are going to ground you?!?"

Her giant eyeballs of fear confirmed the worst.

Thankfully, no groundings or finger-waggings occurred, but Daddy did sit straight up in bed (looking slightly like a corpse) and said, "I've been PRAYING for you!"

Welcome back to 1988 and my senior year of hell.

Enjoy a few parting shots of the reunion -the folks I had the privilege of sharing my high school experience with are quite wonderful. Even the ones I thought I hated years ago are just lovely now. Hum. How did that happen?