Lehman Fuckers

So the CEO of bankrupt Lehman Brothers fucked up the company and still got paid millions.

Richard S. Fuld Jr., chief executive officer of Lehman Brothers, declared to the committee "I take full responsibility for the decisions that I made and for the actions that I took." He defended his actions as "prudent and appropriate" based on information he had at the time. "I feel horrible about what happened," he said. Waxman questioned Fuld on whether it was true he took home some $480 million in compensation since 2000, and asked: "Is that fair?" Fuld took off his
glasses, held them, and looked uncomfortable. He said his compensation was not
quite that much. "We had a compensation committee that spent a tremendous amount of time making sure that the interests of the executives and the employees were aligned with shareholders," he said. Fuld said he took home over $300 million
in those years - some $60 million in cash compensation.

Shit, people. I'll fuck yer company up for only $1 million. You'll save $299 million dollars with me! Talk about a bargain.

Or, if you wanna pay me $1 million to shoot him, I can do that too. Whatever works. If that happened, Fuld and I would be equals on the Shithead That Deserves To Be Jailed List.

Hmmm. You know, I just don't look great in orange. Pumpkin, yes. Federal penitentiary orange, no. How about we stick with the "pay me to fuck your company up" plan? Excellent. I'll be in the office at 8AM tomorrow. Make sure you have a coffee waiting for me. I take it black.