You know what really sucks?
When your stupid bank decides to go all "green" and begins restricting access to ATM deposit envelopes. When they strip away the concept of convenience at the ATM and eliminate placing a stack of deposit envelopes beside the ATM, in favor of the ATM spitting a singular, Scrooge-like, tightwad envelope in the middle of the ATM transaction, so that the ATM user has to then quickly rip out the lone envelope, slap the deposit items and deposit slip inside, scribble her account number on the outside of the envelope, all the while listening to the annoying beeping sound from the ATM - the warning signal that soon this transaction is going to end, BITCH, so hurry the fuck up - and then swipe her tongue along the sticky seal to ensure that said deposit doesn't slide out of said envelope, thereby SLICING HER TONGUE ON THE EDGE OF THE ENVELOPE and getting a papercut on her God. Damn. Tongue . . . THAT, sweetpeas, is what really sucks.
Not thath I did thath.
I'm juth thayin'.
OUTCTH!
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4 comments:
Ugh, that does sound like a nightmare.
Already, if I'm making an ATM deposit (since I'm only allowed to visit the teller once a month), I have everything in the envelope before I even put the card in the slot. Given the handful of picoseconds that they give you between "put the envelope in now or we'll terminate your account", this is the only way I can make it.
I hate banks.
I hurt just reading that.
Nothing a stiff drink won't cure right?
The new BoA machine outside our old office was much better. No envelopes at all. A door opens, you put your cash or checks in, it counts the money, OCRs your checks, tells you how much your deposit is, and asks you, "Is this correct?" Hit yes and go on your way.
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